When I started working as a freelancer, life has been a teeny, tiny bit better. My schedule is still hectic and toxic, but at least I get to control it. I can go to bed anytime I want, sleep like a baby, and wake up without setting my alarm clock on. In fairness to me, I can tap my shoulder confidently for choosing the right decision: freelancing means independence.
But like I said, it's just a teeny, tiny bit better; once I'm up, I have to break my back to beat deadlines. Sometimes, I take too much comfort in the thought that I'm a freelancer, and I have no boss. I can just finish my online projects anytime as I'm not going anywhere. I can be on FB all day or as long as I want, playing my games and checking out what people are up to; no one can say 'no' to me now. In short, I procrastinate a lot, and when deadline comes, I beat myself to beat it. So, at the end of the day, pressure and self-imposed punishment make me crash. It's still like working overtime in an office with blinking pressure lanterns and confetti everywhere; you'll hear this very commanding voice at the back of your head, telling you to keep checking the time, and when the time to call it a day comes, all you wanna do is switch off the lights and plunge your world into darkness, forgetting everything.
OK, enough introduction. Today, my grandaunt woke me at 3:00AM, so I can help them get ready for their 1-week trip to Zamboanga (their ferry departs at six, and I can tell that she's very excited). So, I did prepare our breakfast and cooked something for their lunch. At 5:13, we headed to the pier via a pedicab/motorcycle. We said our brief goodbyes and 'have-a-good-trip' wishes, then at 5:20, I started walking my way back to the apartment.
I took the boulevard track on my way home. It's amazing! From the crew at the pier, to the bystanders at the boulevard, 9 people greeted me "good morning"! Wow! I've never had so many "good mornings" in the last 4 months of my life! Although most of them are strangers (7), it feels light to the heart. If today were just a normal day, the only living thing I'd say my good morning to is my cat Marty, who can never return the greeting (or probably a few more but via email). So, today, it just feels awesome; today marks the day of my independence... independence from the stress and pressure, the toxins secreted from those crazy deadlines.
The joy I felt when I was greeted by those friendly, polite people was just deep, my vitamin E for the day. I could hear sunshiny music playing in my head while I was walking. It felt beautiful and I felt beautiful. It's that feeling when you get to "socialize" with people without putting too much makeup on your face -- your face is lighter, so smiling is so much easier. Months ago, when my flatmate and I moved in to a place in the heart of the city, I told her I was gonna start doing the jogging-every-morning thing along the boulevard, which is only a 2-min walk from where we're staying. This morning, as I did the walking there, everything felt right and perfect. Right now, as I recall how it felt, it just feels like it's the most natural thing to do. I'm gonna do it again tomorrow and hopefully the day after, until it becomes a habit. It would be the healthiest habit I could ever have. I'll take the plunge and start living healthier. Now, how about that?
